Empath Awakening
In my journey of healing and self discovery, I've learned that we are able to create tangible change using energetic work and in this way we are able to create magic. Learning about structural integration and being able to use it and experience it myself in my own body has really placed the accelerator on my healing and horsemanship evolution. I’ve been a professional horse trainer for years, working with problem horses. I’m hyper sensitive to others and their emotions, my quiet contemplative nature puts people at ease and it isn’t uncommon for people to be vulnerable around me. The same could be said with horses, one of my talents in my horsemanship evolution was being able to bridge the gap between horse and rider to help each team communicate and perform at a higher capacity. I’ve been working in the training game for 8 years professionally and I can’t help but feel as though my riding progression was stuck. Not for lack of trying on mine and my horses parts but I started noticing restrictions in my our movements due to trauma’s and injuries. This sent me on the path to the Equine Natural Movement School (ENMS).
During module 2 of ENMS class, I really honed in on the suggestion that my body could pick up on the problem areas horses had within my own body. After asking if this was possible, Joseph did affirm that this was one of the signs of being an Empath. To this point I thought that the abilities of the Empath only manifested the when feeling the emotions of others, I didn’t realize that this skill could extend into the realm of physical pain in my own body. As my awareness shifted and becoming nice aware of my sensitivities, I was amazed at the monumental shifts we could produce in this work. I was able to learn so much from my horse patient during module 2, and its such great validation getting good feedback from his owner that he was moving better, less spooky, and looked like a new horse. With my new found gift of being a human dowsing rod for pain, I was able to transform my integration series to make it much more tailored to his individual needs and attained so many profound releases that at times I was afraid that I was going to release him to the other side. At the age 29 he would release so much that he almost collapsed a few times from getting so relaxed that he’d fall asleep. It seemed a divine affirmation that this was the correct path I should be taking in my life and a perfect start to my healing journey.
In my journey of healing I’ve been sent down the rabbit hole indigenous Samoan healing practices and looking at how my heritage influences my path to help the healing of others. I am of Samoan descent but having immigrated to the US as a baby, I never really embraced my Samoan heritage until recently now realizing I come from a heritage of healers within my own family tree. Now, having chosen the path of the healer I am realizing my gifts, and am being called to ways I will be able to help not only horses but humans in the future using these gifts. Samoan healing places important not only on physical but psychological health and the relationship of the being as a whole within themselves, a well as within the social and spiritual world. I appreciate how this addresses the importance of releasing trauma within the patient and looks to treat the cause and not just the symptoms. Samoan massage or fofo is one of their oldest treatments and are integrated into many of their medicinal treatments and cures. I’m excited about the path that this is leading my down and thankful that I was able to commemorate the beginning of this journey in the middle of Module 2 classes with a Samoan tattoo done by my cousin during class to remind me of my heritage.
“Samoan culture holds that humans live within three “worlds”, a natural world, a social world and a spiritual world. The human condition is at any one time influenced by the relations between individuals and the natural, social and spiritual realm. The desired state is one in which relations between humans and each of these worlds are stable and without tension. Where such equilibrium exists, a feeling of well-being is reported.” ( pg. 94 Samoan Medical Belief & Practice; Cluny and La’avasa Macpherson )
After realizing in module 2 just how sensitive I was to the physical holding patterns of others I prioritized the importance of getting my series of structural integration to clear my own chronic pain patterns. This way I could more easily and efficiently tailor bodywork sessions to my patient. This began my healing journey with Celeste-Leilani Lazarus. I’d admired Celeste for years though we’d never actually met but she was very encouraging of expanding from the horse training realm into that of integrated body work for horses and people one day.
Celeste is an amazing healer and teacher, and I was incredibly blessed to her be one of my spirit guides along the way. As we’ve progressed through the SI , I’ve been fascinated at the sensation as my fascial lines have been releasing and rebalancing my body. I’m very happy it is a requirement of the program because it allows me to experience the profound effects on the body. This was even more of a lesson after one of my treatments where Celeste placed my hand on my psoas to release , which really allowed me to stay present while releasing the spasms as well as the trapped emotion hidden deep in my tissue long. As the spasm released I was flooded with the sensation of a forgotten emotion, as that passed I flooded with a memory and it brought to light the reality of emotional trauma being locked within the body. This idea of sent me down a rabbit hole of pressure point use for trauma release.
Having had 30+ years of physical and mental traumas galore, and now armed with this idea that I can let go of these trauma’s and no longer carry them, I decided that weekend would be a great time to continue working through my trauma’s. Unfortunately in my enthusiasm to heal the chronic pain, I may have over done the unwinding process. Instead of being happy with a few significant releases, I decided to hit every problem area I could detect with pressure point therapy using a carefully placed crystal ball . With every placement, I initially could only focus on breathing into the area of pain, over time the pain and spasms would fade making way for the feeling of whatever emotion I had locked away, followed by the memory. It was a bit crazy having my mind bring back memories and experiences which were significant events but long forgotten from my daily life. I then paid for it for the next two weeks while my body recovered from the flood of toxins and negative energy I’d purged from my body. It really highlighted that while the mind may forget the body does not and that we can carry these emotional burdens hidden like little daggers carefully buried in fascia. It was a great lesson of why we take the time between treatments and we don’t unwind the body too quickly be it horse or human.
Knowing the culture of horse training having been in the industry for years, I know how significant of a piece that trauma release will be in my healing practice. I’ve come across many a horse who has developed unidentifiable mystery lameness regardless of the amount of money spent on vet exams and tests. I believe that the release of these traumas will be the answer for some of these horses with chronic unknown lamenesses.
All these experiences, and the learning process really had made a change in not only the way I perceive the healing in the realm of horses but also humans. I’ve opened the door to some of the magic that we’re able to cultivate to help heal others.I am Maria, a healer, a mother, a sister a friend. I am an Empath, I choose to walk in the path of light. I’m the way I am because I was chosen to use my gifts to help others. To help bridge the gap between human and beast. I am a vessel of trauma who is using the strength I’ve gained from my experiences to give confidence to others and help them on their healing path. I look forward to what the future holds, and to see what the universe has planned for me.
References:
Samoan Medical Belief and Practice
Cluny and La’avasa Macpherson
Samoan Herbal Medicine ‘O La’avasa ma Vaii Fofo o Samoa
Dr. W Arthur Whistler
https://www.iptmiami.com/news/Learning_How_to_Unlock_Tissue_Memory
Learning to unlock tissue therapy
https://www.theiasi.net/new-to-structural-integration-